We’ve all experienced some level of depression: feeling down, lack of energy, not wanting to get out of bed and face the day.
We know from psychology (the study of what we think, feel and do) that our thoughts create our feelings.
If we want to feel better we need to think better. That sounds simple enough right?
But sometimes we have thoughts happening so fast, even in the back of the mind, that we are unaware of them. What we only notice are their effects: poor mood, lack of energy, depression, anxiety, fatigue and lack of motivation.
One client, Ella came to see me because she was feeling depressed and a lack of motivation. She was between jobs and she just couldn’t seem to get herself motivated to get out of the house in the morning and take the steps to find her next job.
She said, “I get all ready to go and then I just lose motivation, I get depressed and can’t make myself walk out the door.”
“Walk me through your day and tell me when the depression shows up for you.” I said.
She said, “Well I wake up and I feel pretty good. I think about my day and what I want to accomplish. And then I go and get breakfast, and I feel pretty optimistic then too. It seems like it just hits me when I get dressed and ready to head out, I just hit a wall and have no motivation.”
I asked, “What do you do right before you get dressed?”
“Well right before I put on clothes, I put on my makeup in the mirror. Ohhh!” She exclaimed, I could see the light turn on in her eyes. “When I put on my makeup, I start to notice everything I don’t like about myself and pick myself apart. And then the day goes downhill from there.”
Ella had picked up a mental habit of self criticism.
We changed the mental habit of self criticism to self appreciation through an NLP process of getting the mind to switch its focus, the ‘Parts Integration Process.’ (You can also read the blog post of Inner Critic Makeover ).
Ella came back the next week, “It worked! 20 years of depression has just disappeared. Now when I put my makeup on in the mirror, I notice what I like about me and what there is to appreciate. I feel energized and recharged and I’m able to get so much stuff done!”
Ella’s story is an example of how our mental habits affect us on a daily basis and as we address these mental habits, we can find new levels of health and well being.
(I’m not saying that ALL depression is due to mental habits. The reasons for depression can range all across the board. Some people do need medication to change the brain chemistry so that they begin to think and feel better).
But how much of our feelings actually come from mental habits?
What mental habits are running in the background of the mind that are stealing your happiness and well being?
Many times we feel thrown about by our emotions, as if we are caught up just reacting to how we feel that day. I used to feel this way too. When life was going the way I wanted it to, I felt pretty good. But when life wasn’t working how I wanted it to, I would blame myself and go into self criticism. Of course this only leads to further pain and misery, making it harder to climb out of the hole.
However, when we understand how our thoughts create our feelings, then we can begin to see how the mind is responsible for our daily experience. Knowing that our thoughts create our feelings demystifies our moods and puts us back in control over our experience.
Change your thoughts, change your feelings. And as you think better and feel better, you naturally take action.
The first key to any change is always awareness.
What patterns do you notice in your emotions throughout the day? What thoughts are happening right before those emotions show up? What thoughts can you change to create better feelings in your life?
Now sometimes we get thoughts that replay over and over. If you notice recurring thoughts and feelings, it’s a good indicator that they are stuck in the UNCONSCIOUS mind, the part of your mind that runs automatically.
The best way to change them is to update the UNCONSCIOUS mind. And with what we know now about the brain and how it works, it’s easier than ever. We can use NLP to identify the errant runaway thoughts that are causing the problem and we can update the unconscious with better strategies of thinking and feeling – and even get the mind to run them automatically!
Join for the Mind Mastery System
You’ll learn easy ‘brain skills’ to change negative recurring thought and feeling patterns. Plus, you’ll discover the 5 Mind Traps to Avoid and develop your own plan for daily well being and finding happiness in everyday.
See details and register here
Holly Stokes, The Brain Trainer, does not diagnose, treat or cure illness or disease. This course is meant for self improvement only and is not meant to replace any treatment for mental health or health care services.
